WHAT A WEEK!!

So the week started off magically, we were lucky enough to hear Joel And Daniel Salatin give a talk on sustainable living and life at polyface farms. Right here in lovely Bendigo, finally a true celebrity in our midst! If you haven’t seen Food Inc, you must run and watch it NOW! Like NOW! Thats when i first became familiar with the Salatins.

For me, my dream is to be as sustainable as possible, have our own animals for the slaughter and really explore and embrace the culinary arts (or kicking it old school one might say). So preserving, pickling, jams etc etc. Of course living as organic as possible. A few acres, lush gardens, chickens, goats, cows, rabbits, horses, well actually the whole hog! And ideally we’d love to have some accommodation for people to come and hang and have, i guess, a bit of a health retreat, eating from the land, cooking lessons and relaxation out of the big smoke. One of my many pipe dreams (which i reckon this one will come true!). So the 2 hours of listening to the Salatins speak was unreal, i actually screamed out amen at one stage (what a geek). My beloved hubby was lucky enough to get a one on one interview with him, i’ll chuck that up on the blog later in the week. It sometimes seems as if there’s not many people one can resonate with, and those hours i felt so connected to a room full of strangers, hanging off the words of a lovely farmer from Virginia America! Oh it was a lovely way to start the week. But that has been the only highlight, the rest of the week has been an absolute fail when it comes to being paleo…

I usually don’t allow the cravings to win, but this week, they did 😦 I had a sandwich, holy crap it doesn’t sound bad, but far out, the pain that followed, and then i had a ice-cream, i was like a crack addict shooting up in a dirty alley, there was just no stopping me! Usually when i am naughty, i try to keep it gluten free, so i don’t feel like total rubbish, and i had cake (that was gluten free) Its been a stressful week. I had recently quit my job, after working my butt off, i was wrung out and tired. I had been managing a busy cafe in our hometown, when i left, my “wifey” took over. And its taken its toll on her, so i’ve gone back a couple of days a week to act as i a consultant i guess you could say. And with that i’ve had to be a c%$t, and get staff back on track. I can feel my shoulders up near my ears, and that hole that can only be filled by binge eating!! It’s embarrassing typing this and sharing how i failed myself, no body really talks about the lows and the guilt that follows. And each night i’d go to bed in pain, telling myself tomorrow  is a new day. And that it is! So i’ve been shit for a few days, i may even be shit tomorrow, but i know, that this is not a lifestyle i’ll fall back into again. Its too painful! But hell, sometimes that NO DON’T EAT IT is just a quiet whisper in the back of my head, i need to turn the volume up on that guy. But the best thing about messing up is, i know i messed up! And i can turn it around and feel fabulous again. So heres to a week of fixing my leaky gut, a week of listening to that voice screaming to keep clean, and heres to not allowing stress to take over! So i’ve learnt  valuable lesson i reckon!